You, Me, and Us. An examination of self- and informant-reported extrinsic emotion regulation processes in romantic couples.

Abstract

Emotions are an integral part of human life shaping our interaction with the world and the people in it. I examine two key emotion-related constructs in adult romantic relationships—emotional intelligence(EI) and extrinsic emotion regulation(the regulation of others’ emotions). Although research has typically focused on intrinsic processes(how we regulate our own emotions), there is growing interest in extrinsic emotion regulation(EER). In Chapter 1, a meta-analysis, I estimated the association between EI and adult attachment(26 studies, N=6914). EI rating scales were negatively associated with attachment anxiety and avoidance but positively associated with attachment security. Ability scales were also negatively associated with attachment anxiety and avoidance but with smaller effects. The focus of Chapters 3 and 4 was examining the strategies people use to regulate the emotions of their partner. In Chapter 3(N=277), I tested the extent to which eight EER strategies predicted relationship satisfaction. Relative importance analysis demonstrated that the three most important predictors were receptive listening, valuing, and humour. In Chapter 4 (N=395 couples), each person rated how much they used the eight strategies on their partner(self-report), and how much they perceived the strategies were used(informant-report). I applied a bifactor model to assess the extent to which each strategy related to relationship quality, comparing the unique perspective of the regulator, the target, and the shared perspective(consensus) between the target and regulator. Results indicated that it is not what the regulator thinks they do to regulate their romantic partner’s emotions that relates to relationship quality, but rather the target’s perspective of the regulation attempt. Results show that secure, satisfied, high quality relationships are characterised by high EI, using listen-laugh-value strategies, and perceiving your partner is using high engagement strategies.